“Here’s How to Unf*&k Yourself After a Mistake
Mistakes. We’ve all made them. I always say, “I don’t repeat them; I make new ones. Daily.” Seriously.
We all do. To err is human. And fun fact: 97.3% of people are, in fact, mistake-making flesh bags (the rest are ‘people’ to avoid).
Source: Terry Whalebone CC by 2.0
But how you handle mistakes says everything about you. People may not remember the gaffe; they will remember how you handled it.
Recently, I set up a Google Hangout on Air wrong with some marketing folks across the world. Yep. I screwed up. And I’ve done these before. I know how to set one up; clearly my typing fingers do not.
source: gratisography.com
The morning of the call while we’re trying to launch this darn thing, I discover my mistake. I own it. I restart the HOA correctly — send out a new link — apologize and credibly (hopefully!) announce that I’m honoring my brand promise of “keeping it human.” Yes, there were people frustrated by the delay. I also had people laugh, say ‘ oops,’ tell me they loved the hangout once it did record, and add that I was ‘grace under pressure.’ Whew.
Once the mistake is out there — you have a choice. It’s done. Let it go. For me, conceding it, having a laugh, celebrating my humanity and moving on are all parts of the process.
So stop beating yourself up about that shit.
Benign Mistakes Can Be Your Marketing (and Endearing) Friend
Sometimes marketing gifts happen with mistakes. Years ago, I had a friend whose company published an annual ‘Book of Lists.’ It was a list of private companies, public companies, etc. by growth in revenues and / or employees in Silicon Valley. Every year the organization produced this list and they invited subscribers to a ‘Book of Lists’ Launch Party.
One year, I got an invite to a ‘Book of Lusts’ Party. You read that right. When I composed myself enough from laughing so hard, I called my friend and said, ‘Hey, this is great!’ She was mortified. It turns out it was not a marketing strategy or fun toga party; it was a typo. She panicked. “What do I do, Kathy?” she asked.
“You are going to let it go, play it up and have fun with it. This is the BEST mistake you could have made. It’s comedy gold. That’s what you are going to do,” I said. I was damn serious.
She wasn’t convinced…until invitees starting sharing the invite and posting it and jokingly saying, “Hey, now this is a party I actually want to go to!” Attendee responses were overwhelmingly supportive. As I predicted, people had fun and more people attended the party. Who the heck doesn’t want to attend a ‘Book of Lusts’ party?! Seriously. THAT’s a party!
Here’s the thing: a lot of time and energy could have been spent agonizing and fixing and apologizing. Why?
If it’s a benign error (read: no one is hurt or offended), let it go. Have fun. Play along. People will remember how you handled the mistake and that says a lot about who we are and how we embrace our humanity. My friend’s company made themselves fun, relatable and human. Who doesn’t want that?
As long as you’re breathing, you’ll make mistakes. It’s part of the human contract. Learn to laugh at your gaffes, and apologize for the big ones. That’s key. If it had been a biggie, then the company would have had to apologize, obviously. Don’t fear looking silly — embrace it. You will endear yourself in a way you can’t imagine.
When you handle these things with grace and dignity, that’s what people see and remember. And if it was a big mistake — then apologizing would be the right thing to do.
Too often people spend an inordinate amount of time blaming, covering, getting upset, not apologizing even for small mistakes — every single bit — is a damn waste of time and energy. Imperfections are not weaknesses. They’re real and they are important. So own your shit, laugh at it and move on. No blame, shame, fuss, no muss. If your f*&k up is something that hurt someone, well, it’s simple really: apologize.
I am constantly surprised at the people who won’t own it. Here’s the reality: do you want to be right and “perfect,” or real and preserve a relationship? If the relationship matters, own it and apologize. With grace. Then, move on. For all that is holy, move on. Doing right is NOT being right. Figure out which side you want. Then let it go. Preferably, with grace, dignity and humor. Stop judging yourself — that’s what your family is for!
So, congratulations on your screw-ups. You’re human. What you do afterwards is what people will remember most. So don’t f*&k that part up — the human, real part.
To me, that’s a big part of what ‘keeping it human’ is all about!
How did you handle a mistake — big or small?
About
I am a comedian, author (“Stop Boring Me!”), business storyteller, and speaker. Fan of fun and good nonsense in the name of creativity. My 8-yr-old thinks I am hilarious. I know that window is closing soon. My company is Keepingithuman.com
