Tech PR Bros Disillusioned to Discover Influencers are Just ‘Regular People’
The parody. Maybe someday, it’ll be a musical.
“Influencer marketing is hot. Like smokin’ hot,” said one self -described bro-cial media PR dude.
“So we hustled, crushed it, killed it, yanked it and spanked it,” he said. “Then we doubled-down on it. We went after several influencers in the hot world of live streaming haaard and put all of our efforts there. Why plan anything else. Influencers matter more than regular people, right?! We were told that these were the influencers to get to and if we did that, we’d have access to their networks to amplify our hustle muscle.”
“We did everything right,” he said. “Then, we heard nothing back for a really long time. Both of these guys we approached said they were really busy and didn’t have time and that we did’t get to the point. Then they said, we had give them specific reasons why they should care about our product.”
“They totally said that,” said another PR dude. Both declined to give names. “I approached one guy like a bro and we had a beer together. We laughed, we shared stories, and then nothing. Like one day we’re hanging out and the next day, he’s all like, ‘Hey, that was fun. Can’t articulate a reason to share your product with the world.’ Can you imagine? Just like that! He totally blew me off.”
“The problem is we think influencer bros are special,” said Jared who declined to give his last name. “Then, we find out they’re people with needs who actually want to have a reason for promoting our product or get paid. I thought we shared a moment and then I find out they’re just regular people, not unicorns with magic influence fairy dust. They’re not even bros, most of them, anyway.”
Jared said he blames the media who glorifies influence as an easy thing to get and as a career regular people should aspire to. “They make sounds it easy. I read this one article and it said ‘How to Use an Influencer.’ So I thought I could totally use bros in my network to do my amplification work for me. It turns out that many influencers don’t work that way! So basically the media lied. Alternative influencer facts. Influencers suck!”
PR dude added that the problem is magnified by articles that glorify influencers and the influencer marketing approach as the end all and be all of marketing today. “I thought I was dealing with people that were special. I mean the media tells me influencers are special. Tons of influencers tell everybody they are special. Turns out, they’re just like you and me. That sucks. I can’t use regular people to sell my shit. So, great. Now what the hell am I supposed to do?! My marketing plan is shot to shit!”
And that’s not all, Jared adds. “Some influencers are even mean a-holes.” One dude taunted me ‘Ha, ha! Look at my Klout score. Why should I talk to you?!’ That’s just douchebaggery right there. So not cool! No one really understands Klout scores anyway. I listened to him brag about it to cozy up and then he totally throws it in my face like a monkey throwing his feces! So this one dude that we thought was a bro totally went with another product because they had a well-thought out pitch and some money. So it’s like that? PR hos before bros?!! Naw, man. That’s bullshit!”
PR dude says it’s a big, lame (his words) awakening for the marketing folks in his industry. “They want to know what they get out of the relationship,” he said intently. “Like that’s MY job to figure out! Who’s manipulating who?” He added, “Hey, I was nice. I bought you a beer. I emailed you, asked nicely when I made it all about me and this is how you respond? What a dick!”
“It’s just disappointing ya know?!” says Jared. “We build up influencers and we think we can game the system until we realize we can’t. It just really pisses me off. What about my entitlement? How about that, influencer-douches? You think you’re the only ones with entitlement! Puh-leez!”
Please, indeed. Sounds like a big lesson learned for all.
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About
I am a comedian, speaker, author (“Stop Boring Me!”- on Amazon) and storyteller. I help organizations have idea orgasms (workshop at SXSW 2017) and get rid of jargon-monoxide and boring storytelling and content. Fan of good nonsense in the name of creativity. My 8-yr-old thinks I am hilarious. I know that window is closing soon. My company is Keepingithuman.com. Join the community! Follow Kathy on Twitter. Kathy speaks on humor, improvisation, and organizational storytelling and how to generate new ideas.
