UK Man Blames Feminist Kindergarten Bullies for ‘Hate-Eating’ Daughter’s Snack

“Kindergarten feminist tots are bullying my daughter,” says James Cordell, a divorced ad exec based in London.

“So much for feminism. It’s toxic and it’s wreaking havoc on my kid’s life,” Cordell said.

“Sure it started with a snack disappearing from her lunch. Where does it end? They take your lunch today and what next? These 5 year-olds are a mean. It’s utter toxicity at work.”

He goes on to explain.

“You send your daughter to school and some kid with a Spongebob backpack and a ‘Future is Female’ shirt gives her a hug and acts like she’s her friend. The next minute, she’s taking your daughter’s food. I don’t buy the woke-ness act and the shirt. This toxic femininity is tearing 5-year-olds apart!”

“You gotta stop this nonsense before they grow up to do the unthinkable…like file for divorce. Thanks, Sandra, for that, by the way.”

Cordell says all this ‘popular woke-ness’ is dangerous.

“What are we teaching girls? That taking someone’s snack cake is OK? Well, it starts with them believing they can be anything they want to be. How am I supposed to comfort my daughter when she comes home telling me that Shelly took her snack? What kind of feminist bully does that? Sure, I gave her a new cake and she forgot all about it. Not me. Those 5 year-olds don’t fool me…with their pink boots, Dora headbands and ‘Black Lives Matter’ shirts. They want you to think nothing is going on. I know,” Cordell muses.

“So any bully in a cute ‘woke’ shirt can just hate-eat her delicious snack? Not on my watch, little feminist bully army. I AM ONTO YOU.”

(yes, satire based on an email from an angry guy who railed at me about the dangers of feminism. I reassured him most kids can’t even pronounce it).

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I am a speaker, author, and comic. Founder of Keeping it Human, I help brands, leaders and teams use strategy, comedy and improv to unleash creativity, innovation and storytelling so employees and customers thrive. Sometimes I write funny about serious topics and seriously about funny topics. I laugh at business and make business laugh. My fave audience is my son, who laughs himself silly daily. I am at “kathyklotzguest” on Twitter and @klotzguest on Instagram. My book, “Stop Boring Me!,” is on Amazon.